It’s Time for Me to Live Again, by Brittany Sherfield

It’s Time for Me to Live Again, by Brittany Sherfield.“Why can’t they just stop using?” “Why does it have to by my kid?” “How can they do this to us?”. These are questions I consistently hear from parents and loved ones,

WE ARE ADDICTS AND ALCOHOLICS. IT IS A DISEASE. Listen, none of us just wake up one day and think.. I am going to try heroin today. NO that’s not how it works. We didn’t plan on this and believe me we would not wish this disease on our worst enemy. It takes us places we wouldn’t imagine and it is absolutely terrifying.

We don’t think about how upset you are going to be when we are dope sick and steal your jewelry.

We don’t think about how you will feel when we don’t contact you for days or weeks at a time.

We are selfish, self centered and self seeking individuals when we are using. We don’t think about anything but the next one.. we will do anything to not be sick, to not think, to not feel.

Just like cancer patients, we need treatment. They have chemo; we have a 12 step program.

Diabetics have to check their blood sugar regularly – multiple times a day. As addicts, we need to check our behaviors and our thinking multiple times a day.

I’m not making excuses for our behaviors, I am simply educating.

For myself, I didn’t turn out this way because I didn’t have my birth father around. I used because I like the effects produced by drugs and alcohol and it turns out I am not like other people. I cannot use successfully and put it down. I cannot smoke a joint and be able to maintain a career. My disease tells me I can, but the second I pick up, I am off to the races.

I will take everything you have. Someone could overdose in front of me and I would run their pockets before I took them to the hospital. I’m the girl at the party thinking of excuses to leave so that I can go get a fix. I didn’t want to live in a trap house. I didn’t want to be homeless. I never imagined I would stick a needle in my arm.

I didn’t think my mom would find me overdosed or that my little sister would witness me having a drug induced seizure. BUT THIS IS WHERE MY ADDICTION TAKES ME.

It didn’t have to be your kid or loved one, but it was.

They don’t want to put you through this, but they do.

They want to stop using, but they don’t know how.

There is help out there. In your town, in your state. There are people ready and willing to make a difference.

To all of the loved ones out there who have experienced the pain and misery caused by this disease, you are a warrior. We appreciate you and love you even though it is hard for us to show it.

To all of the addicts, in and out of the rooms, sober or not – you are worth it. You are more than a RIP status on facebook. This is your time. This is your chance. No more existing, It’s time for you to live again.

2017-03-11T17:32:21+00:00

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39 Comments

  1. Gina Crawford June 28, 2016 at 8:03 am - Reply

    Thank You Ladies,BOTH of you for doing this!! Makes me EXTREMELY HaPPy that you both care enough, are selfless enough to share your time,your personal lives,your stories with us all.
    I truly love the idea of what you both do ,reaching out and telling such personal details takes strength. You never kno how a person can react and yet you both just keep going!!
    I admire you BOTH!!
    I CANT THANK YOU ENOUGH!!
    GODBLESS

  2. Maggie Parris June 28, 2016 at 8:07 am - Reply

    As usjal im crying after reading your latest chapter bc i know thats where my daughter is but also as usual you give me great hope so thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing it and god bless you andd all the other warriors out there!

    • Robin June 29, 2016 at 6:44 pm - Reply

      Wow. A powerful message. My brother was a addict in recovery. He had Hep C and it destroyed his liver. Although he got a liver transplant, he developed liver cancer and passed away during surgery to remove fluid around his heart. A blessing in disguise; he would have gone through a horrible painful death. My son stopped heroin after he died twice. Thank God for the addicts who sold it to him and called 911 the first time. The 2nd time I don’t know who called the EMTs but they pulled him through and had burn marks from the paddles of the heart defibulator. He was so lucky and begun his long road to recovery. Today, he is clean and sober. I have my son back; that “thing” he had become. Sorry for the harsh words, but that’s the only way I can explain it. He was an empty shell of who he was. I thank God everyday that he is still alive!

  3. kay sikora June 28, 2016 at 8:09 am - Reply

    Brittany – What a splendid job you’re doing.

  4. Kim June 28, 2016 at 8:11 am - Reply

    Beautifully said, Britney. I am so sorry you had to go through that. I know that was your cross to bare so you could make huge changes in the lives of others. Keep up the battle, beautiful girl!💪🏼💜

  5. Jessie Lochner June 28, 2016 at 8:20 am - Reply

    Everything u wrote is amazing and the exact truth of what this disease is and where it takes you! I’m so happy to be actively seeking a solution that keeps me sober one day at a time!! Your fantastic and so brave for educating and telling your story! Thank u!

  6. Melissa Huffman June 28, 2016 at 8:30 am - Reply

    So beautifully truthful.

  7. Shannon Roddenberry June 28, 2016 at 8:50 am - Reply

    As a grateful recovering addict (6 months) this is a great article. I didn’t wake up one day and decide to be an addict but I did wake up one morning and decide to go to treatment and it was the greatest choice I’ve ever made. I realized I don’t have to wake up dope sick anymore, I don’t have to live my life around when I picked up my next refill of Xanax. There is life out there and it’s amazing SOBER!!

  8. Judith Suttera June 28, 2016 at 9:07 am - Reply

    God Bless you for all you are doing! We are blessed you are there!

  9. shari June 28, 2016 at 9:15 am - Reply

    Brittany,

    You are so awesome and such an inspiration to me!! My daughter is currently in jail and desperately wanting to find residential treatment when she is released in September. However, the jail will not allow her to make calls to treatment centers. Ugh!! I have contacted several but they tell me they have to talk to her directly. Nevertheless, I am going to stay positive that this is it….she is done with drugs!!!! And, she will get her life back too. Keep up the amazing work, young lady!!! God bless you and your mother.

  10. Val Pearce June 28, 2016 at 9:17 am - Reply

    Keep blogging and continue healing

  11. sherry McGinley June 28, 2016 at 9:47 am - Reply

    Tears fill my eyes every time I read one of your post. It touches my heart so deeply I am a mother of an addict my son is 23 and I miss him terribly every once in awhile I catch a glimpse of him. Some days are harder than others I will never give up on him.

    • Katie June 28, 2016 at 2:40 pm - Reply

      Oh Sherry, I’m so sorry. please don’t ever hesitate to reach out if you need any help or guidance for resources. We are always here xo

    • Nancy Wohlfeil July 2, 2016 at 9:31 pm - Reply

      So sorry, Mama.

  12. Pm June 28, 2016 at 9:49 am - Reply

    All true. Fight the fight! Never, EVER let your guard down because your addiction is always there lurking, waiting to take hold again. It will cajole, seduce, rationalize, trick, do ANYTHING to take hold again.
    Don’t let it.
    Your strength, smarts, passions, interests,family, friends, and self will be your armor in this war.

  13. Cathy Miramontes June 28, 2016 at 9:56 am - Reply

    Thanks for sharing this..

  14. Peggy June 28, 2016 at 10:18 am - Reply

    You’re the best WARRIOR I know! So strong to be able to put your life out there! Keep doing what you’re doing….you are an inspiration to me and sooooo many others! You’re using your addiction to help heal so many and not everyone can do this! Love you with all my heart💜💜💜

  15. Dora Stephendon June 28, 2016 at 11:11 am - Reply

    I’m starting my life over.Sober feels so good. Wish I would have realized it a lot sooner. But at least I did before it was too late.Thank you dear lord!

  16. Jonny June 28, 2016 at 11:38 am - Reply

    God I love you Britt, you are one of my best friends and who I know I can call no matter what, I’m so proud of you.

  17. debra June 28, 2016 at 12:12 pm - Reply

    God Bless you Brittany, Thanks for the honest info. I already know this cause Im an addicts mom and will never give up on my addicts.

  18. Jamie June 28, 2016 at 12:52 pm - Reply

    you are an inspiration to so many out there!

  19. Jamie June 28, 2016 at 12:53 pm - Reply

    you are an inspiration to so many. keep up your recovery…YOU GOT THIS!!!

  20. MP June 28, 2016 at 1:44 pm - Reply

    need a lot more than 12 steps.. research is critical and recognizing the value of energy health modalities…and the effects of trauma on dependency

  21. Sandy June 28, 2016 at 3:03 pm - Reply

    You can always find five excuses to not do the right thing. FYI my daughter is a heroin addict, and she has had her children taken, their daddy died from an heroin OD in February of 2015 but yet she still uses and will not even consider long term treatment because then you can’t get to your drugs. DRUGS Come first over everything.

  22. Herb June 28, 2016 at 3:30 pm - Reply

    Brittany I am so thankful that I met you and will never forget how much you helped me. You always made sure that I was ok and lifted me up when I was down. You help so many people and are so special to me and to so many others. I will always have a special place in my heart for you. luv ya!

  23. Andrea June 28, 2016 at 6:12 pm - Reply

    You give me hope! Thank you, I pray everyday I don’t get the call of an overdose and my son passing. I can’t wait for the day to replace those thoughts with days of thinking about him living again 🙏 I know he wants this to but he has to find his own way 😔

  24. Sherry June 28, 2016 at 10:02 pm - Reply

    Hi my daughter is a addict and she is currently using . She really wants to stop, but keeps telling me she can’t stop the constant thoughts of using that haunt her. She has been to a couple rehabs but always goes back to using. Could you please help her she and I really need it. Anything you can recommend would be appreciated. God bless

  25. Mindi June 28, 2016 at 10:48 pm - Reply

    Brittany,
    Thank you for sharing. Your testimony has inspired us moms, that there is hope. Congratulations on choosing sobriety! You are a strong young lady. God is using your trials to help so many others. Keep up the good work!! God bless you.

  26. Jodie June 29, 2016 at 2:07 am - Reply

    Thank you for sharing your story.

  27. Laura June 29, 2016 at 3:05 am - Reply

    My son is 21 in treatment out of state. He has tried several other times and as a family we can only hope this time will be his journey to recovery. Thank you for sharing. It has taken me awhile to put down walls built up outside the family to not care what others think. I am his mother, his strength, my love and hope will help him recover. While he’s gone getting help its time for us as a family to get healthy too. His dad, myself and Jakes two older siblings need to educate ourselves to learn how to live with Jake again sober. We need to learn healthy words and not enable him in the ways we did while he was using right in front of us not really knowing as bad as it was. It’s hard to know how much to help because of being a parent and helping your kids and knowing the difference with a recovering loved one believing him again. I have been doing a lot of reading and there’s so much information out there with so many different ways to help. I do know I live one day at a time while he’s away and don’t think way down the road planning things for him. This is his journey and his recovery. Thanks for letting me vent alittle.

  28. Shari June 29, 2016 at 9:42 am - Reply

    I absolutely love reading your blogs. Gives me hope that I really need.

  29. Laura June 29, 2016 at 11:01 am - Reply

    Dear Brittany,
    From someone who knows very well what you are going through, I just wanted to say that yes, sometimes it is “one day at a time.” but more often, it is one hour at a time or even more likely, one minute at a time. Hang in there sweetie for it is so much better on the other side. My very best of wishes to you in your recovery.

  30. Alyssa W. June 29, 2016 at 7:35 pm - Reply

    Thank you!!! This is such a great reminder of why I am doing this and that the mistakes I made during my active addiction do not define who I am today. My clean date is 5/12/16 and I am doing everything I possibly can to maintain my sobriety. So with my willingness, my higher power, working the 12 steps with my sponsor, and attending outpatient and my individual therapist I will continue on this amazing journey!!!

  31. michael favacchia June 30, 2016 at 1:27 am - Reply

    omg your story hit home for me i to have been in thos struggle for over 25yrs i am currently in a program and after 1year here iam about to start my new life .it does not end here though, i will have to fight. for my freedom of addiction for the rest of my life. but with Gods grace and mercy. i will maka it. thank you for your story. and God biess you and yours!!

  32. Eric L June 30, 2016 at 1:53 am - Reply

    The lifestyle described is on point. God willing I’ll have 6 months sober on July 8th after years of progressive drug use. Drug of choice was heroin. I’m from just east of Cleveland and found your inspirational posts helpful so I liked your page. Very good stuff! Is there somewhere on your page I can spread hope with my experiences?

    • Trish July 1, 2016 at 11:26 pm - Reply

      Just wondering what was if for you that was enough for you..have not seen my daughter in three weeks and it’s been almost a year for her…wish you the best

  33. Laura July 1, 2016 at 1:19 pm - Reply

    Hi, my name is also Laura, so as not to get confused, I am happy to go by “Laura B-F.” I first found sobriety back on August 10, 1987. It is now July 1, 2016. In that time I have had 4 relapse, each one lasting one year. Luckily with the help of family, friends and rehab centers, I am now back on the right path for me. Everyone is different and all we can do is share our stories and help in whatever way is needed.

    I wish you the very best of luck Brittany. It is a hard road, but hang it there sweetheart. To reap the rewards in the end is truly a blessing!

  34. Sarah Histed July 19, 2016 at 6:19 am - Reply

    Along with the 12 step program, there are other ways to get help. Don’t get me wrong, i believe in the power of the 12 steps. But in its entirety, is not the only way for me. I’ve found that the cognitive behavioral therapy approach is very helpful. I think it’s crucial to figure out what went on in life before the drugs because that’s where the problem originates from for most. If i can get a better grip on all that, and correlate it to my current behaviors, it mashes better sense. It’s just another way to try to help a person get sober and stay that way. It’s tough, but it can be done. Another book i recently read that is getting me too think about why things seem to always be a certain way for me is called “The Laws of Attraction”, this book has nothing to do with how to attract your love interest. Not at all. Moreso focused on the power of thought. It’s a great read and rather short. I strongly recommend it.

  35. Laura July 19, 2016 at 3:04 pm - Reply

    In response to Sarah’s comment, and I mean this in the kindest of ways, just imagine if the words “why can’t they just stop using?” were to be replaced with “why can’t they just stop eating?” That was the beginning point of Overeaters Anonymous (OA.) I am not a member of OA but am one of AA. I never knew my biological parents (1961) but I do know that they both were alcoholics so the chances of my being so were quite great. Be it food, alcohol, sex, drugs, etc. it’s all an addiction of some sort. We never mean to hurt anybody else, not even ourselves. I wish you the best Sarah (and Brittany) and everybody else out there who is struggling. It is very, very hard not to do what both your brain and your body are telling you to do, the discomfort is unimaginable. Sarah, thank you for your share.

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