The waiting room. A place I have spent my fair share of time over the past 10 years. Waiting, waiting, waiting. A very wise woman and good friend recently said something so profound to me. When asking how I was doing she said “In life, the waiting room is the hardest place to be”.
It’s so true. Clearly she didn’t mean being in an actual waiting room, although that’s not fun either, but rather the idea of just waiting. Waiting for good news, bad news, ANY news.
Waiting in the lobby for the therapy appointment, waiting in the ER to see if my daughter made it out of the last overdose alive, waiting on pins and needles for a phone call or text when she has gone missing for days, waiting to see if our insurance was accepted at the next treatment facility, waiting for the unknown.
It can be paralyzing.
Then, there’s another kind…Waiting for the perfect time, the perfect move, the perfect job, the perfect body, the perfect partner. Waiting to use the “special dishes” for the special time.
Waiting for SOMETHING is never easy. The constant feeling of the unknown is very unsettling especially to a Type A person such as myself. I am the queen of I want it NOW but having to sit here quietly in a waiting room week after week, month after month, year after year has actually taught me so much about myself and about life.
We are not in control of the timing of life. Many times we are not in control of the outcomes that we are even waiting for. But we are in control of our thoughts and of our actions.
Repeat that. WE ARE IN CONTROL OF OUR THOUGHTS AND OF OUR ACTIONS.
I have had to work on my mindset SO MUCH these last few years. To actually turn OFF my mind and just sit quietly was very challenging. However the longer I have been in “the waiting room” the more mentally strong I feel I’ve become.
Living in the moment, enjoying the journey, spending my time how I want to spend it has all been very eye opening.
Trust in the changes that life brings you. Fear, anxiety and worry of the unknown, well its really all a matter of our mindset. Truth be told, much of what I worried about in life, never actually happened. Life is hard, there is no doubt. You will experience your own challenges at some point.
Don’t become a victim of your situation. When you run into a roadblock, build a ramp to get over it. Find the way to power through.
Sometimes, we think we will finally be happy when we lose that weight, or when we move to a new house. This has us fall into the trap of waiting for that thing to happen, instead of truly living.
Until you give up the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, the next partner, the next like on social media, the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where YOU are.
Having a life of joy, even during your struggles, is creating a life that you dont need to escape from. If you have an idea, a dream, GO FOR IT. Do what what makes you happy, be around those that lift your spirit up, that believe in you, and remove anything toxic in your life.
If you are stuck in the waiting room of life go out today and do something just for you! Eat dessert first, pop into target, go book a massage, take a long quite walk outside, and take a big deep breath in and know that I’m sitting right there beside you ❤️
Hugs,
Katie
Thank you for this insightful and helpful post. Even before my son died in January 2018, I’d often felt as though I was in a “waiting room”, but not always sure I’m waiting for! Deep breath. Trying to live more in the “now” even while grieving.
Katie thank you for your posts! This post describes me to a T. A mom never rests or is completely happy with her life no matter how many positives come her way or mine. I seem to escape my horrible thoughts of where is my child and if as I sit to enjoy a special dinner with someone special – is my son taking his last breath or is he laying lifeless in his bed while having dinner. He has a warrant out for his arrest and I have contemplated turning him in but then I watch the news and a call for police help go wrong. The adult son shot to death after an altercation or argument with parents in front of their eyes. All I can do is pray for salvation and hope that I wake up out of this terrible dream…
I can relate to this post. I am in the waiting room right now. I don’t want to be but I am. I have not heard from my daughter in two weeks and I’m not sure she is alive. She is 31 and a heroine addict. She has gone through 4 rehabs and two years of drug court. I don’t have much hope left for her recovery. I am just trying to accept the inevitable. My faith in Christ has been my hope in all of this mess. He will see me through!!!!
Thank you Katie…I love this <3
My Daughter lost her fight May 31st, her 4th rehab, 7 days in, she and a couple of others checked themselves out, Em overdosed. Many hospital stays for her, she was so sick, she is no longer……
I put my grandmother (she raised me) through exactly the same sort of thing all of my teenage and some of my adult life. I was raised by addict parents and used to use that as an excuse. Once I had my own children, it all changed. I realized what I had done to my poor grandma. Thank you for sharing your story.