I am sooo type A. I like to have things planned out, organized, t’s crossed and I’s dotted. I’m a “by the rules” kinda girl. Going outside of the rules, made me very nervous and extremely uncomfortable. At a previous job years ago, I traveled internationally quite often. I made sure that the grocery shopping was done, outfits planned for my youngest, laundry done and a schedule clearly laid out for my husband, prior to the trip….
Tuesday, May 1
7am: wake up, make sure Brittany got up on her own and has left for school
745am: take Brooke to the bus
3pm: Pick up from the bus
5pm: Dance class. Make sure you don’t leave, she likes to turn around and see that you’re watching.
545pm: Rush and pick up Brittany from work
6pm: dinner….there’s chicken, broccoli and potatoes
7pm: Make sure Brittany is doing homework and Brooke is taking a bath
I know…WAY over the top. And truly not necessary. My husband usually took one look at it, rolled his eyes, laughed and tossed it right in the garbage. “Katie, we got this honey. Go off to Hong Kong, don’t worry about us and be safe”.
I was the level headed one…the one people came to when they needed guidance and advice. I always wanted to make sure my family was safe and taken care of. So when my daughter needed help, I sprang into action. I can help her…I can fix this.
After she her car accident and we discovered she was taking Xanax, we immediately put her into therapy. We thought “oh it must be experimenting”, “she doesn’t have a problem”…some therapy visits and grounding from mom and dad and all will be ok. She spent 3 days in a psychiatric hospital. She was diagnosed with all sorts of things…bipolar, depression, anxiety. The doctors didn’t feel it was a substance abuse problem. They put her on medication and sent her on her way.
At that time, she was dating a boy…he seemed like a good kid, played hockey, good parents. Brittany was with him every day and went to every single hockey game he played in. Little did I know that half of his hockey team were addicted to prescription opioids. She started taking the pills along with them…completely unaware of how addicting they could be. As parents, WE had NO idea how addicting they could be!! I didn’t know the signs. AT ALL. I had no idea she was taking these pills. What I saw was her turning into a different person completely. Very short tempered, very rebellious and by the time she was to graduate high school, her grades and attendance had dropped significantly. We were so very scared, angry and tried to do everything we could to stop her attitude and mindset. Again, NO clue she was using pills. At this time, she was “in love” and wanted nothing to do with us. Our house turned into a circus of screaming matches. Shortly after she graduated high school, she moved out and into an apartment with this boy. She didn’t like our rules at home anymore and “I’m 18 now, you cant control me”. Within a few months after, half of that hockey team then turned to heroin. It was cheaper and much easier to get. And now, my daughter… my smart, beautiful Brittany, was now addicted to heroin. HEROIN! A word that I associated with being dirty, disgusting and complete fear of. I felt completely powerless. How do I fix this??!!