From Honor Roll to Heroin-My Story, by Brittany

From Honor Roll to Heroin-My Story, by BrittanyI remember getting kicked off my softball team.

My years of being a straight edged, athletic, follow the rules student were rapidly dwindling. I had been skipping school so often that my grades had slipped from A’s to D’s. I maybe went to one practice a week and my love for the game had faded. My addiction was slowly creeping in and taking over. But I wasn’t upset about it…I just wanted to be with my friends and feel good any way I could.

It started off slow.

Pills on the weekends, drinking with my friends. Things almost every teenager experiments with. I knew I was different from a young age. I had moved so often that my identity was almost gone and I was able to get along with any crowd I was around. This bubbly, outgoing, beautiful girl was secretly lost and self-destructive and ran to anyone I could fit in with that day.

Listen I’m not going to sugar coat anything. I loved getting high. I loved being with my friends, partying, around. I took pills like they were candy and drank alcohol like it was water. My life was slowly crumbling around me and I had no idea what tragedies were heading my way.

At age 18 I moved in with my boyfriend because I was so “in love” and didn’t want my parents controlling me. I’m 18, I can do what I want, right?

I came home one night from work and everyone is partying. My boyfriend had a line for me that I did immediately. I continued this behavior for a few months until I woke up one morning; I was sweating but I was freezing, my whole body was sore, I was shaking and crying. I thought I had the flu. I was sat down by him and my roommates. “We need to tell you something”.

It was heroin that I had been doing and I was dope sick.

Heroin to me was a disgusting and dirty thing. Growing up in the suburbs, you aren’t exposed to that too often. Now it is everywhere…but at the time I was so blind to it. Yet here I am. A beautiful, intelligent, compassionate teenage girl with a promising future now turned full blown heroin addict.

I didn’t grow up in a bad home. My mom was my best friend and still is. I don’t have a relationship with my real father, I’ve met him once but my step dad is my rock. He has been there for our family no matter what. My sister is 12 years younger than me and is my shining star. I tell you this because from the outside we are a perfect little suburban family. But in reality, we were dealing with something no family should ever have to endure.

I was slowly killing myself. Little did I know this was just the beginning…

2017-03-11T18:21:00+00:00

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62 Comments

  1. Ruby April 27, 2016 at 10:18 am - Reply

    Today this was so familiar it could be my daughter story.

  2. Tammy April 27, 2016 at 10:42 am - Reply

    Thank you for sharing your story. I hold on to every success story that I can in hopes that one day it will be my daughters story.

    God Bless!

    • Bonnie macgregor April 27, 2016 at 8:02 pm - Reply

      I love a success story. It gives me hope. You are a great person and your story will inspire others. We need to change how we treat addicts. Compassion and understanding will improve e healing process.

    • Amy April 28, 2016 at 8:13 am - Reply

      Don’t give up on her! I was the lowest low junkie heroin addict. Got pregnant. Me and my husband continued to use. Got my baby taken away from me at the hospital when he was 2 days old. That right there changed my life forever. I’m going on 3 years clean now. Every addict just needs to find their way. A light bulb needs to go off. I pray every single day for all of the addicts out there still trying to find their something that will be enough to make them stop. Never lose hope, just love her and continue to do everything you can to lead her in the right direction.

      • Lori April 28, 2016 at 2:23 pm - Reply

        Any & all addicts ultimately hit their lowest they can go, be it heroin, alcohol, pills, meth, crack, etc. It makes absolutely no difference what your drug of choice is, you hit that ultimate low & get clean or you die, simple as that!

      • Linny April 28, 2016 at 9:48 pm - Reply

        Can I ask you a question? I need a true, honest answer to something. My daughter is a heroin addict and she’s at the point where she wants to be clean but worried that she’ll just relapse after rehab, that she won’t have any support or after care and she’d be right back where she is now. As her mom….how do I help? How do I advise her?

        • Deana April 29, 2016 at 2:59 am - Reply

          Linny, this is my situation this very second! My daughter is in her 7th day of detox, but because she/I don’t have the financial means to get her into long term rehab she already feels like she’s going to lose the fight! I funny know what we can do as mothers to keep them feeling hopeful. I’m in a panic right now because as you know we pray for the time our addicted children finally crave a way out. What we can and must do is keep on being strong. Keep letting then know we are going to fight with them the entire way! Let them know their lives are so important and so much awaits them after the battle.
          We didn’t give birth to our babies only to let them self destruct! I know this doesn’t help your current issue or answer your question amit what you can do. You’re already doing it mom. Remember to take care of yourself as well. We’re no good to them if we crumble under the stress or become such from the stress.

        • Anonymous April 29, 2016 at 5:38 am - Reply

          Almost all rehab programs have after care programs, like IOP and sober living facilities,that they’ll set up with her. You have to be strong and supportive with your daughter. If she’s really ready right now get her into treatment ASAP! Good luck. It’s tough to get out of that rut, I’ve been there, but since I’ve been on the other side for over 3 years now I can’t imagine ever going back!

        • Katie April 29, 2016 at 7:59 am - Reply

          Linny, I just sent you an email…xo

        • Ruth April 29, 2016 at 8:20 am - Reply

          HI, I am a mom of a recovery heroin addict. My son was in MANY rehabs. He didn’t not want to feel this sick anymore. This last time he asked to stay in rehab for three months. The longer they stay in treatment the better success. More inportantly, you need to get help and support. There is so much support out there for parents. Go onto to the conversation.zone website and try to find a parent’s support group in your area. Good luck and stay strong..

        • Rose May 3, 2016 at 4:37 pm - Reply

          Narcotics anonymous meetings! There she will find people who know the struggle and have found a new way.

  3. Kathleen Burnett April 27, 2016 at 10:49 am - Reply

    Thank you for sharing! You will help many!

  4. Cheryl Cullinan April 27, 2016 at 10:55 am - Reply

    This so brave and so important for all those struggling every day with the mirror like experiences you are sharing. Please keep writing. Your voice will make a profound difference for many!

  5. Toni Miller April 27, 2016 at 11:08 am - Reply

    I wanted to read your story and how you to where you are now. Do you have more to share with a mom like me. You’re a success story. And I’d love to read more about you,

  6. Pam Miller April 27, 2016 at 11:11 am - Reply

    I have never done heroin but as I was reading this, I was reminded of my past experimenting highs from other sources. I have been clean for 8 years and I am so proud of what I have accomplished. Unless you have walked a day in our shoes you would never understand. Every day clean is a blessing. God bless you and your family.

  7. Jennifer Lazzaro April 27, 2016 at 11:36 am - Reply

    You’re am amazing strong young woman! I have five years sober and I look forward to hearing more of your story

  8. Judie April 27, 2016 at 11:36 am - Reply

    Thanks for sharing…so proud of you for the courage to put yourself out there! Praying for you to stay strong in life, much love & blessings sent your way ♡ Oxox

  9. Larkin April 27, 2016 at 11:37 am - Reply

    Good for you.There are success story out there. It is so refreshing to hear this kind of story. There is so much tragedy associated with addiction that when you read something like this, it bring back hope.

  10. Johnny Eldridge Sr April 27, 2016 at 11:55 am - Reply

    Great big step well said you have paid the price. Sounds like you are on the right track I for one am very proud of you. If you need a ear I have one. Be glad to help you Tell family hello for me

  11. Kelley hackney April 27, 2016 at 11:59 am - Reply

    Great post looking forward to reading more

  12. Lauri April 27, 2016 at 12:07 pm - Reply

    Brittany your story sadly is like so many others. It saddens me so many wonderful kids have been caught up in this hell. I can’t believe how your mothers story parallels mine. It sounds like you have wonderful support. Stay the course, recovery IS possible. I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers.

  13. Susan April 27, 2016 at 12:23 pm - Reply

    You are a courageous & strong girl!! Thanks for sharing your story, which I will share. God Bless you & your family?. Susan

  14. Brenda De La Cruz April 27, 2016 at 12:28 pm - Reply

    Thank you for sharing your journey with us. What a brave young woman you are!

  15. Sandra April 27, 2016 at 12:34 pm - Reply

    Just wondering how old you are now and how you were doing terrible drug he takes over so many people most of them don’t make it out 🙁 hoping you’re doing well and staying on the right path 🙂

  16. Peggy April 27, 2016 at 12:37 pm - Reply

    My heart is breaking! You are so courageous!

  17. lisa April 27, 2016 at 12:39 pm - Reply

    enjoyed it. keep it up

  18. Dori Valerio April 27, 2016 at 12:46 pm - Reply

    You are a very courageous young woman . I am looking forward to the sharing of your story.

  19. Mary Lu April 27, 2016 at 12:48 pm - Reply

    Keep blogging! Wonderful story and sounds like my son’s story. We parents think it is normal teenager stuff… What we don’t know WILL kill us…

  20. Andrea Grace Phillips April 27, 2016 at 12:51 pm - Reply

    You are a courageous young lady to share your story! Thank you…I am the mother of a 26 yr old son who is a recovering heroin addict. It is such a hard way to live. I know God has soooo much good in store for you both!

  21. Maggie parris April 27, 2016 at 12:57 pm - Reply

    Hi Brittany, your. Story gives me some small hope for my daughter. She’s 22 and we’ve been fighting this battle fkr 5 yrs already. You name it we’ve tried it. She’s fought it every step of the way. She SAYS now she wants help now but nothimg iS Happening. Like you we were your “normal” suburban family. She hass other serious medical conditions that make it even harder bc rehabs dont want her and we cant pay for the very few that would. At oir wits end and thsts wjy your story is so helpful. Please keep going..we need you..all of us out here. With tears in my eyes i thank you

  22. Victoria April 27, 2016 at 1:05 pm - Reply

    Thank you for sharing and making a difference in what people perceive as well as maybe stop some other child from this nightmare. You are very brave! Vicki

  23. Mariana Newcomb April 27, 2016 at 1:08 pm - Reply

    Thank you for sharing your story. I was so ashamed to admit my daughter was a herion addict until I started to realize how bad this epidemic was, how many people are exposed to this. I hope your story will help others see the light and not hide in the darkness of “it won’t happen to me”

  24. Katie April 27, 2016 at 2:11 pm - Reply

    This reminds me so much of my own story. Except I knew that it was heroin from the get go. But we do recover! 2 & a half years clean so far. You’re SO SO brave for putting yourself and your story out there! Please keep the story going and keep us updated on your success!

    • Tanny April 28, 2016 at 9:51 pm - Reply

      Way to go so very proud of you. Stay clean God bless

  25. Lorie Fishell April 27, 2016 at 2:22 pm - Reply

    I am so proud of you . This was a great story with a great ending knowing what you do now in helping others .. Love reading this . Thank you

  26. sherrie bazan April 27, 2016 at 3:47 pm - Reply

    <3

  27. Allyson April 27, 2016 at 4:00 pm - Reply

    I love this. Thank you for sharing and showing that people are not alone in this.

  28. Geri April 27, 2016 at 4:20 pm - Reply

    Too many stories are similar to this BUT ALL ARE SAD. Since this was written, I’m praying there is a better conclusion than the tale as written so far. So many people are puling for you and a better ending to what we’ve read so far.

  29. Sandra April 27, 2016 at 4:28 pm - Reply

    Your story gives others HOPE. Keep it up, sweetheart. We are all in your corner rooting for you.

  30. Jackie April 27, 2016 at 4:36 pm - Reply

    Thank you for sharing your story.. Success stories bring hope to so many! Keep telling your story.. We have to stop this epidemic, help save kids from even starting and help rescue those that are currently lost.. Prayers to you and your family.. You have a lot to be proud of!

  31. Ann (Custer) Groves April 27, 2016 at 4:49 pm - Reply

    I’m so proud of you, Brittany. You have overcome something so far beyond difficult. It shows what an amazing woman you are. My heart aches that you went through what you did, but I am in awe of who you have become. ❤️

  32. non-judgemental witness April 27, 2016 at 5:23 pm - Reply

    Stay strong!

  33. Justine Frank April 27, 2016 at 5:34 pm - Reply

    Outstanding share. Please – continue the much needed sharing of your story. Parents need to hear this. And, others going through it need to know there is light down the path. The more you give your recovery “away,” the more powerful it will become for your own life. Thank you for your courage. Your voice, your life – matters.

  34. Shelli April 27, 2016 at 6:00 pm - Reply

    This gives me the goosebumps. Flashes back to the beginning with my daughter and our life. We are a military family. Moving has been our life. Sadly this story is ours. My daughters. I can only hope and pray one day she will be writing and sharing her experiences to help and bring hope to someone else. Thank you for sharing.

  35. Ida shinder April 27, 2016 at 6:18 pm - Reply

    I am so proud of you! Please continue with your blog i am the motherbod an active heroin user and you give me hope. Your mom must be so proud of you. As a matterbof fact your mom is my hero. Much love to you both from this mom in Delaware.

  36. Kristen April 27, 2016 at 6:59 pm - Reply

    Thank you so much for sharing your story! I just found out my daughter is a heroin addict, a pill addict, and is now sitting in Macomb County Jail because of it. I knew something was different, wrong, she wasn’t the same person. I had no idea what how bad she really was until she got arrested for possession of analogs and was rushed to the hospital because of an overdose while being in police custody. This happened in February of this year and that is the time I found out about her addiction. I have been feeling the same exact feelings as you described in your blog… Helpless, hopeless, scared, anger, sad, etc… I am still trying to learn more about heroin and pill addiction and how to cope and live with it, how to help your daughter who is the addict, and how to just survive. Reading your blog has helped me knowing there are others out there that are going through the exact same thing. Thank you for sharing everything you have so far!

  37. Ashley April 27, 2016 at 7:14 pm - Reply

    I am going through this right now with my boyfriend. He is an alcoholic–He relapsed multiple times! Today is got kicked out of the hotel he was staying at, has no money, no food, no car—and is living on the streets. I had to stay strong and let him hit rock bottom. I sit here crying and hope that he doesn’t die at his rock bottom! I can’t save him. I didn’t cause it! But If I keep helping him–I am enabling! I am so torn. So guilty. So lost! I love him–but I can’t do anything!

  38. Sonja April 27, 2016 at 7:25 pm - Reply

    My son is a heroin addict, he says for 3 years or so. I saw signs awhile back but chose not to believe it as we were also that “perfect family” on the outside. Little did they know that my husband of 28 years is a recovering alcoholic and his first daughter has been in and out of jail due to drugs and theft. My world fell apart when I realized what my son was really doing. I finally caught onto the long sleeve shirts/hoodies, puffy hands (alarmingly so!!!) and other signs. I finally looked on the computer to see what these signs led to and gosh….I was devastated to say the least. My husband and I confronted him one night (lived in our house) and he came clean (no pun there) with everything and said it was actually a relief that we finally said something. He is now a month and a half into treatment and so far it has gone ok. I still worry, every single night that he won’t make it home from work and hopefully that gets better as time goes on……..I am still having trouble admitting publicly that he is a heroin addict…..I guess this will come in time. Thank you for sharing your story. I look forward to reading more of the blog. P.S. I am reading “Dreamland: The True Tale of America’s Opiate Epidemic: and it is very eye opening and worth a read.

  39. Lillian Jacobson April 27, 2016 at 8:30 pm - Reply

    Brittney I read your blog and was eager to read the rest of your story, but it stopped. This is Shannon’s mom. I blamed you the last time my daughter relapse, I suppose because it is easier to blame someone else. Somehow one of my friend’s on facebook shared your mom’s blog about her journey through your addiction. I clicked on the article she had shared because of the title of the blog and low and behold, it was about you. What a small world! I am currently dealing with some one who won’t admit she has a problem, watching her waste away. I am scared. This has drawn me closer to God, it is to him I run to when I feel like I can’t deal with it anymore when I am terrified of what could happen. I am glad you are well and doing well. Keep up the good work and continue to share your struggle with this disease because it blesses people and gives them hope that one day their addict will be free! I am looking forward to getting to know you better.

  40. mike scheib April 27, 2016 at 9:09 pm - Reply

    Thank You For Sharing …………

  41. Debi April 27, 2016 at 10:00 pm - Reply

    I commend you !! You are helping others and saving people’s lives.You are living proof that recovery can happen.Thank you for sharing your story ! You be good to yourself you deserve to be.Your Mom must be so proud of you !! I love to hear stories like yours.Hugs

  42. Craig April 28, 2016 at 9:30 am - Reply

    I overdosed on heroin May 11th 2015 and was lucky enough to be brought back to life in the hospital. I had never realized that I would go so far as to put a needle in my arm to get high. I was a college football and baseball player and father of two little girls. My life was turned upside down with the use of drugs. I lost my wife and kids, my house, my Harley, my possessions, and my dignity. The reason I am writing this post is because I have spent the past 12 months working a 12 step program in AA and that is what saved my life. If you are looking to get clean and do something different you need to find your local meeting house. Go to http://www.AA.org and find your city and state. I am willing to talk to anyone that needs help. Please feel free to call or text or email me if you need help. Thanks for the inspiring post. The fight is real!

  43. anthony suttera April 28, 2016 at 2:17 pm - Reply

    Stay strong & BELIEVE IN YOU!!! THANKS Brit!!!

  44. Sue Smith April 28, 2016 at 9:15 pm - Reply

    My son finally wanted help he went out of state to Port St Lucia in Florida. They picked him up from the airport and brought him to Detox. 90 days clean, they take Medicare my son has a brain injury due to a two story fall when he was an iron worker 2004.keep talking and asking my son is 37 . They really need to get away from all the triggers, leave state find people ,friends who would be willing to take them in.God bless you , my name is Sue Ellen Smith from MA.

  45. Rebecca patnaude April 28, 2016 at 10:48 pm - Reply

    Hi Brittany I know I don’t know you but would love for u to finish this as of 4 years straight if not longer I have been dealing with my sister and brother and there addiction so I will be sharing this with them than maybe your story will help them

  46. lola Espinoza April 29, 2016 at 3:29 am - Reply

    My son is a herion addict I have lived a dreadful tormented life with a junkie. The lies, manipulation, stealing and three overdoses, its been very trying. Hes been to rehab 3x but relapes everytime. I need some one to help me understand his lifestyle I’m exausted! He seems not to care. I don’t think that he understands how much he’s hurting me and the rest of the family.

  47. Alison April 29, 2016 at 9:57 am - Reply

    Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly. You and your mother are helping many. I send my love to you and your family from me and my family. We are all in this life together. We will uphold you in our thoughts. You are a beautiful being.

  48. Heidi April 30, 2016 at 12:19 am - Reply

    I have been battling the same disease for over a decade now it’s almost impossible for heroine addicts to recover, I remember the stats being e tween 80-90% of heroine addicts do not recover. My journey began with oxycontin in 2004 and if someone would have told me then that in a few short years I would be IV heroine I would have laughed…”no way that’s going to happen to me, do I look stupid? !” But the unfortunate reality is that was where I was headed.
    Once I began to use points (syringes ) it became a all about me and my drug of choice “DOC”. I had experimented with a all types of drugs and never had a “problem.” H quickly took priority over EVERY THING in my life I was once social, funny, compassionate, successful a all land an unstoppable positive force. I never doubted who who I was until I lost that person, and no matter what I thought, my friends and family could see what was happening to me but had no idea how bad it really was.
    As my use and the years got worse and worse I became more withdrawn, isolated and numb. …that’s one thing I don’t hear many addicts talking about, is the numbness. I only felt my happy “normal self” when I was high. I was using insanely high amounts at a time and spending over 2000 a week, so I began to hustle (deal drugs) in order to maintain my habbit. Don’t get me wrong, I would try and quit, detox myself many many times throughout this time period, but I kept going back…and each time I did, it became worse and harder to deal with I felt like a thin she’ll of the once ambitious person I was, that girl was long gone to me.
    I used to watch people on the busy city streets of seattle and wonder what it was like to be “normal,” and not to have to depend fully on a substance just to make it thru the day. I still struggle, I have made some big changes in order to try and overcome this disease, and every day I think about getting high..I don’t want to drag my story on, I know I made those decisions and I ex eat responsibility for everything. I am also learning to accept the fact that this is something that will never “go away” or “be cured.” But I tell myself multiple times a day that I worked very had to mess my life up and I need to be willing to work twice as hard to fix it.

    • Connie May 1, 2016 at 9:58 am - Reply

      Our God is an amazing God . He put people in places to shines to help others. Go now and continue to share your message so people and yourself can be all they can! I know our family will have you in our prayers daily without cease! Connie

  49. Lasha Chaney May 2, 2016 at 10:24 pm - Reply

    I was also dealing with the same issues with myself, this is a beautiful story, I respect someone that can share their “horror” story’s because that is what they are!! I’m proud if you and please continue to stay strong. I quit using oxy contin and Xanax with Suboxone, I am in my 3rd year of recovery (still using Suboxone but wened way down and still fighting to be “normal”. So proud of you!!!

  50. Carly May 9, 2016 at 12:08 pm - Reply

    Waiting for my mom in the doctors office while I sob. Finally, I have read my story from someone else. THANK YOU Brittany. For those still struggling: make it to a meeting, whether it be NA or AA. You WILL hear your story, don’t leave until the miracle happens!!

  51. Melissa July 24, 2016 at 11:36 pm - Reply

    You didn’t realize for a month that you were doing heroin? That doesn’t make sense to me.

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